Power of Numbers

Saturday, Nov 15th was a perfect demonstration of the First Amendment.  Ten of thousands, if not a million, Americans gathered at city halls to rally against Prop 8.  What impressed me the most was how quickly JointheImpact circulated across the Internet. (Check out Austin Photos and Videos at http://tinyurl.com/62w8gb and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phZpOukVYME.)

Often overlooked in the debate about gay marriage is the impact marriage inequality has on the children of lesbian and gay couples. When a straight couple has or adopts a child, they are automatically considered the child’s legal parents. By denying LGBT Americans the right to marry, we deprive their children of more than 1,200 state and federal rights and benefits that come with a marriage license.

A 10 year boy articulated our intention perfectly during the Impact Austin rally.  Here is his speech:

My name is Mason and my brother and I have not one, but two incredible moms! It’s sad that I’ve been on this planet 10 years and my parents still can’t even cover each other with their own health insurance.

I’m here to tell you about how this amendment affects kids like me. Kids like me include the other 6-10 million sons and daughters of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender parents all over America. Even though I could be somewhere like a football field wtih my friends, instead, like you, I choose to be here to fight for equal protection for my family and all the others out there. My moms were together 10 years before they had me & my brother, and they are celebrating their 20th anniversary this month. Yet some people may say we aren’t a “real” family – what do you say?

I think what they mean by real family is like lots of my good friends’ families, a married mom and dad and kids. But did you know that that kind of family actually only makes up 23 percent of the United States?

According to my math teacher, that’s a minority, which means the majority of families are so called “weird” like mine, and have single parents or blended families, or grandmas or two dads – so “weird” families like ours are actually the majority in America. I don’t know about you, but putting in the Constitution who gets all the rights of family and who doesn’t isn’t very smart, and it’s not fair to those of us who get left out.

Let me tell you our California marriage story:

It all started this summer when my family and I took that endless plane trip to CA. We stayed in a hotel with rooftop pool for 3 days. On the second day, we went to City Hall in West Hollywood and we waited a longgggg time in a longgggggg line to get a marriage certificate. There were about 10 protesters standing around w/ hateful signs, including one mean guy w/ a devil mask holding a sign that said, “Smile: Satan loves you!” (Personally, I think he fell on his head at birth) ….

Later that day, we had a ceremony on Zuma Beach, right under the sunset. I was wearing fancy clothes and I wasn’t allowed to play in the water or even get sandy, which is kinda hard for a kid like me – and turned out impossible for my brother! This is gonna embarrass my moms that I’m telling you this, but they actually forgot our shirts and we had to borrow somebody else’s kid’s shirts for our ceremony. As a matter of fact, you are going to get to hear from Jeff Lutes in just a minute, he’s the Dad who literally gave the shirts off his kids back for us. So you could say he’s a pretty nice guy!

Anyway, we had a good preacher & some friends there, and I was ringbearer, and I stood really still through whole ceremony. My moms were really happy and they cried a little bit, and we ate on the beach afterwards and the moon was gigantic. They were finally legally married!  Now, just a few months later, this certificate could mean nothing.  So all I want to say today is that this deeply affects real American families, and kids like me.

If you want to ban something as important as marriage, then you should ban fruits and vegetables. What do we want?  It’s easy, I just want dignity for my family.

My parents just want the full protections of marriage under the law – same as every other parent would want. Finally, let’s all remember: It’s not just about gay or straight, it’s about family!

Discrimination against the parents of these children hurts families and hurts children. And IT HELPS NO ONE. Atticus Circle is standing up to protect the children in our country by fighting the good fight against discrimination, encouraging fairness and acceptance, and achieving equality for every parent and partnership. And this past Saturday, we got to literally stand next to others who shared our desire to end discrimination and achieve gay equality, and experience, firsthand, the power in numbers.

Austin Rally 11.15.08

Gay Marriage? Fine By Millions

November 4, 2008, was a day to celebrate.  All Americans, regardless of party or ideology, should recognize that Barack Obama’s election says something good about our nation’s ability to overcome a long and shameful history of discrimination.

 

But change did not arrive for everyone.  Ballot measures denying basic rights to gay Americans passed in Arizona, Florida, California and Arkansas.  My friend Evan Smith put it this way: “We took one giant step forward for America and then took one step back for our gay friends.” 

 

Clearly, we still have work to do.

 

Can you imagine any straight couple living in fear and uncertainty about whether their marriage, entered into as a loving lifetime commitment, would be undermined or dissolved at any time by the state?  Well, that’s exactly what has happened for 18,000 gay couples in California who were legally married — and who now find their unions placed in limbo.

 

Susan Reed of California shared her experiences living with this kind of painful and discomfiting indignity:

 

I live in California.  I have been with my wife for almost 13 years.  We married almost 10 years ago, and then again in 2004, and then just a couple of months ago.  We now have 2 beautiful children, ages 14 months and almost 3.  And yet, though we feel like we did everything “right” in loving and supporting each other and our children, we know the law doesn’t recognize our marital relationship. 

 

And it isn’t only adults who are being punished by legal barriers of intolerance.  The Arkansas measure also prohibited unmarried couples, regardless of sexual orientation, from becoming foster parents or adopting children.  Since gay couples in Arkansas can’t be married, they can’t provide foster care or adopt children — in a state in which more than 9,000 children, at any given time, desperately need stable and loving homes.

 

But if the people who voted for these restrictive measures think we’re going to give in and go home, they’ve got another thing coming.  California Governor Schwarzenegger urged supporters of gay marriage to follow the lesson he learned as a weightlifter. “I learned that you should never, ever give up.”  And we’re not going to.

 

Despite these hurtful setbacks, change really is in the air.  We must not forget that on November 4 millions of voters proudly stood up for the rights of gay Americans to marry.  This time it was the losing cause — but it won’t be for long.  And our great nation that once denied African-Americans their freedom … and denied women the right to vote … will one day look back and shake our heads remembering that there was a time when only some loving adult couples could marry. 

 

That will be a proud day for you, and for me, and for all who will never give up the fight for dignity and rights for our gay friends and family members. 

 

Anne Wynne

Founder